So, when I had my breakup, my friends were all a little worried about me. The advice one of them gave me is what I want to share with you. He told me, ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone.” I know he was trying to help but that’s the worst advice you can ever give someone with a broken heart. While most of you might call me orthodox or old fashioned but I believe that love can’t be that easy to replace. But maybe most of you believe in this therapy and hence comes the generation of rebounds. We are all familiar with this terms but the difficult part is understanding whether someone’s really into you or you are just a rebound. And to add to that we are so emotionally fucked up sometimes even we don’t realize we are using someone as a rebound unless it gets too serious to handle. Here are some ways you can know your relationship is a rebound or not.
She loved you for no reason:
Before you start giving me a lecture on unconditional love, let me clear myself out. There is a huge difference between unconditional love and unreasonable love (yes, they are different.) So, if you feel that this may be a rebound you are in, just ask your partner the reasons why they are with you or they love you. In 9/10 cases they will either have no answer or pinpoint random things which are not unique about you. It’s good that they tell you they love you to the moon and back. But the important thing is do they love you or a reflection of someone they see in you?
The relationship is both fast and slow:
It’s been just a couple of weeks with you and they are already confessing their love for you. Yes, you can call me a cynic (although I am a cheesy romantic). Real life doesn’t work the way it does in the movies. You may call it my trust issue but try this first. Think about how much you know about your partner and how much they know about you in the past two weeks. Very less? When doesn’t someone know all your good and bad then how can they know if they are in love with the complete you? In the end, romance has to be done in the realist’s world.
Her ex makes his way to all of your conversations:
The first thing you or anyone should think about before getting into a new relationship is to get over with the last one. There’s nothing wrong to take some time to get over a heartbreak. On the other hand, if you find your partner constantly talking about their ex or judging every situation based on what their ex; you are definitely never going to make them happy. We all are different people and we can never be like someone out there. You need to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are rather than conforming to their idea of a partner. Observe if your partner constantly talks about their ex.
You feel like a thing they show off:
It’s a different thing to be appreciated and to be displayed like a trophy. You are a person and your partner should feel the same about you in private and public. If you see your partner constantly boasting about your qualities with her friends, family, and colleagues but as soon as you are in each other’s company they hardly mention those qualities. They aren’t appreciating you rather trying to make other people jealous of their trophy partner. You may feel good for a while but it may start annoying you in the long run.
You are having too much sex:
I know what you thought just now, ‘how in hell could that be a bad sign?’ Well, sorry to disappoint you but it could be sometimes. Most rebounds try to use sex a distraction from the more important stuff. Now if you are not looking for something serious, this is a win-win for both of you; but if you want something serious out of this, it is a bad omen. Also, if you do have constant sex but feel the passion missing, it could be because you are getting compared to their ex in bed.
You are forced to mimic a long term relationship:
Your partner is already talking about which side of the bed they would sleep or create cute inside jokes even though it’s just been a few weeks in the relationship. This may feel like a great thing but in reality, it takes time to know a person well. This is just them trying to feel the same as they did with their ex who they were together with for a long time. You feel special but you are just being a shadow of someone who was there. Learn to respect the time you put into a relationship.
To be honest there couldn’t be a better way to know than your own feelings. These are just points which can help you get an idea. But, if you feel something is wrong there may be.