You don’t make love to a 40-year-old woman as you would to a 20 or 30-year-old woman. First, she has much more experience. Second, her desires, her needs and her sexuality have evolved. So what are the sexual expectations of a 40-year-old woman? How to arouse her? How to please her in bed? What does she want from a man? We’ll reveal to you everything you should know about what a 40-year-old woman really wants in bed and how to meet her expectations.
What you should know about 40-year-old female sexuality
Throughout a woman’s lifespan, a common pattern is in the choice of men who are older to them. Men, on the other hand, tend to prefer younger partners. Scientists argue that this may be because of fertility issues and the need to procreate.
These are women’s “peri-menopausal” years when estrogen starts falling and periods become less regular. Many women also start to experience vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fortunately, a personal lubricant is usually a quick, effective fix.
It is easier to enjoy sex at 40 because there is lesser fear of conceiving a baby and hence, the lower risk factor is a psychological breather.
What do 40-year-old women want in a man she wants to sleep with?
By the age of 40, there are stronger belief systems in place and most people tend to harden and become fixated on those values. It becomes difficult to be fluid to newer ideas unless there is an inherent openness.
Maturity: As women mature faster than men, they expect the guy to be capable of handling their wiser and experienced self. Someone who appreciates who they are; gives them the space they need and also those who steer away from biases related to age. As time negates the childish behaviour, they expect a certain level of conduct which reflects in a man’s intellect, experience in life and the ability to man up when situations demand. A mature man behaves differently in bed. He understands the pace that he needs to adhere to in order to make the experience mutually satisfying.
Material Security: Another important aspect which shouldn’t be missed is financial stability. Although she must have reached a good stage in her career by this time or is happily a homemaker, a man who can take care of her materially is like a cherry on the cake. This is the sense of security that women seek in the man they want to see a future with.
Communication and Understanding: Also, by the age of 40 a lot must have happened as life isn’t always sunny. A man who has the uncanny ability to lighten things up and take the pressure off the woman from time to time is a definite catch. Basically, a fun loving man who infuses kindness, understanding, happiness and support unconditionally is always more attractive than a snob who is still high on himself and fails to understand the sensitivities that affect a woman as she nears menopause. True, the hormones can be unkind and even the molehills become mountains in the effect, directly or indirectly.
Emotional Compatibility: With age, women crave for better emotional compatibility than just sex. Once that’s experienced, sex is better because there is a far greater acceptance of the ravages of time on the youthful skin. One cannot ignore the fact that insecurities creep in and a stronger assurance that inner beauty trumps it all is imperative. This is an important aspect to bear in mind with women at that age.
How to sexually arouse a 40-year-old woman?
According to a new study published in The American Journal of Medicine, “sexual satisfaction in women increases with age and those not engaging in sex are satisfied with their sex lives. Also, a majority of the participants report frequent arousal and orgasm that continue into old age, despite low sexual desire.”
Be open to learning: A lot of women nearing 40 or already 40 years old, experience higher libidos and a renewed interest in sex. In the case of sexual satisfaction, they might also find themselves secretly ending up having good sex with younger men who last longer in bed and are open to learning new skills.
Buy her something kinky: If she wants to try, buy her good lingerie and get into role plays. It is very exciting and fun because you will always have something new to explore during the act.
Give her a massage: This works like a charm always. Be soft on her skin and touch her sensuously. Get a vibrator and invest in quality sex toys.
Engage in sexting and dirty talking: Building the anticipation is always fun. This is amazing for sexual arousal just before the act. Those days you don’t really see her, make the effort to talk or text her dirty and show how much you appreciate her. She should look forward to all that you plan to do when you meet. Make sure you follow through on the things you promise to do to her so that you don’t end up disappointing her.
Appreciate the childlike qualities in her: Always make her feel special and tell her what makes her so different than the rest. Utter sweet nothings into her ears. Be extremely sensitive to how she feels around you. Age doesn’t really wipe out the childish stubbornness that may show up time and again. This is regardless of the gender too. To be honest, if she makes childish demands, understand this because she knows she has the space to do that with you. Consider yourself lucky as that only means she values you! Your maturity to handle her whims and fancies will do half the job of attracting her more. So, play your cards right.
How to please her in bed?
Stop faking anything: In case you are still wondering how to get her in bed, show your genuine interest. Sex is always enjoyable when the attraction is equally high on both the ends. You can’t fake it with mature women because they are far more intuitive than younger women. They are better at reading body languages and more careful about their choices in men.
Cuddle More: Often men focus on the act rather than the foreplay which a woman craves for the most. While sex can take wilder turns with a younger lady, with an older woman you should always communicate and understand their likes and dislikes better. Often, just cuddling and fondling is the most they ask for. You have to work on balancing the acts as sex will never be an everyday affair with a woman at 40.
Oral sex: Most women enjoy orals more than anything else. Ask her to show you the intensity of the movement and how long she would like you to go with your fingers. This will ensure you do put the right amount of pressure to help her reach orgasms.
Acceptance of flaws: Understand the mental lacuna you will have to address before the physical intimacy. Touch her softly in the areas that she is the most insecure about. Tell her how insignificant the stretch marks, loose skin and the body fat is. The higher the acceptance, the greater the confidence, and hence, the better is the sexual performance. In the event where she may have had a hard time with previous partners, make a mental note of what she wanted, and what went unnoticed before. Make sure she gets what she didn’t.
Try a variety of positions: Communicate whether she likes it slow or hard. If she is the one who enjoys variations, learn and get better at the positions that blow her mind the most. Tell her the stuff that you would like to try and experiment. The crazier you are about her, the more she will desire you.
Nonetheless, whatever be the age, the expectations don’t really vary for women. You can always find maturity in a woman aged 25 more than a 60-year-old woman too. Age is just a number. Just follow through these tips and let us know how it goes for you!