Guess how ‘loneliness‘ came into our society? You will be shocked by the answer! It already existed during the time of Greek gods and goddesses.
Yes, surprised, right? So was I when I read about the Greek mythology and the Goddess of loneliness, CALYPSO. She was the deity of Silence. Being the daughter of ATLAS, she lived in an island of Olygia, in a complete state of loneliness and boredom. Later in life, she had a fling with ODYSSEUS and he refused to accept Calypso, ultimately, she died of grief. Isn’t that a story of ultimate pain and loneliness?
Later, with the change of society, traditions and with the swift change of lifestyle, the causes of loneliness have become vast and unpredictable. But why do we take this loneliness so seriously, even though we know we all are lonely at the end of the day. The word loneliness to most of the people seems alienation or isolation and depression feeling. Loneliness can be explained in one simple sentence that is ‘Loneliness is a state of mind’.
Sometimes it happens that even though in a crowd of 100 people, some people tend to feel lonely. It could be because of getting excluded from your friend circle, nobody to talk to, lifestyle and surroundings, depressions and the many other reasons. The point here is, why is loneliness a major issue and why we need to deal with this. Not many people consider loneliness as a concern, but it is a prime way to vital mental disorders.
A person suffering or going through loneliness experience high level of low self-esteem, secluded from any social activities, highly self-conscious, avoid dealing with new situations, difficulty in introducing yourselves, highly pessimistic, in short you create your own solitude world of being lonely and unhappy. So, it stands obvious that measures should be taken to kill loneliness as soon as someone figures out or the symptoms starts to show up.
“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it is dark”, a proverb by Zen. First and foremost, it is you who needs to accept your current situation. Accept how you feel, you feel lonely and you feel isolated, accept that and look forward for the reasons behind it and take a major step to tackle the loneliness you feel. This comes only with self-awareness.
Loneliness is complete subjective, completely varies from person to person. So, when comes to tackling it, we should follow certain vital steps: –
Some people doesn’t have the habit of staying alone or spending time with themselves. They constantly need someone to talk to or an emotional dependency. Even though they try best to stay among a group, friend circle or family, they tend to feel isolated and left alone. Even though other people might take an initiative to communicate and get involved, still they tend to feel lonely. In such cases, certain categories of people need to do one thing, Enjoy your time alone for a while. Take out time for yourself, start spending time thinking, doing things which you love, analyzing your inner emotional conflicts and working on yourself. This will enhance a person’s perception towards the entire concept of loneliness once he/she starts loving own-self. So just look out the window and think of how much you love yourself.
No matter how much a person feels complete and love his/her own company, certain social involvements are necessary. You must be really happy with yourself, love your own company, but there is a major need to have few friends around or maybe a small friend circle. Communicating with your close friends helps you in exchange of thoughts, interaction and learning from other people. A healthy involvement will always grow you as a person and never makes you feel lonely.
Plus one strategy:
At times, it happens that you have a small friend circle and you don’t like to interact with all of them or maybe you interact with few of them. In that case, follow this strategy where you ask the friend you like to bring along his/her friend, this becomes + one strategy. In this case, you get a chance to interact with one or two new people, which might help you to change your mood and your outlook as well. Even if not many, you got to invite people to life to have a change in perception and break the loneliness part.
We are living in an era, where the highly changing cultural and social life has gone so hypnotic that we keep fluctuating with our inner emotions. It often happens that people tend to build a relationship with being happy, or being sad or being angry, then when something unusual happens and there is a sudden change in the emotions, they just loose it and feel lonely from inside. Is this how you deal with your inner emotions? It is a must to build a stability and change in the thought process, so that your emotions don’t keep fluctuating along with the change in the surrounding events.
Yes, negative thoughts make you mentally so inactive that no matter whatever you do it makes you feel helpless and at the same time too lonely. Replace the unnecessary, negative and self-doubting thoughts with affirming messages and self-praise and self-belief. When you repeatedly keep thinking and saying that you cannot make friends, cannot interact, nobody loves you, you are not good enough, then for sure you will be lonely forever, as you are just and just surrounded by negativity. Work on that negative thoughts hitting your mind. Optimism is the prime key.
I know, for introverts, it is a big step. But there is no wrong in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Every single person should come out of their cocoon and experiment by sharing their emotions, aspects of life, experiments, emotions, memories, dreams and desires to your family or the close ones. This will certainly help you feel highly secure, understood and a sense of satisfaction.
Make quality friends:
This is a major factor of loneliness in most of the scenario. The kind of surrounding we live in and with the modernization, there is a marginal increase in an urge to make much and much friends rather than making quality and valuable friends. This socializing, hanging out with a huge group, partying with lots of random people makes a person devoid of quality friends who can value their emotions and can connect to their feelings. In this case, the person ends up feeling lonely even though he/she is surrounded by lots of people. So, better look forward to making some quality friends, even though less in count than making group of friends with whom you cannot connect and feel free to share your feelings.
Consult a therapist:
Some people have the tendency to listen to others or trust other words and act accordingly. Many a time, we all reach that stage where we can’t help ourselves and all we need is a counselling. It is indeed a proactive way to help ourselves and overcome the self-defeating ways which becomes a catalyst in increasing the sense of loneliness. A therapist helps in dealing with the change of thought process, relationship patterns with fellow friends and close ones and a deep sense of optimistic approach to yourself.
“There is an escape from alienation, separation and fear and that escape is the awakening to the deepest dimension of our own self.