It’s an age where we are slowly turning into machines rather than human beings and the only thing keeping us human is love. But not everyone is lucky to find the forever kind of love at the first shot (if you do; I envy you). Sometimes our heartbreaks put us on a path which leads to darkness. We tend to stop believing in the concept love and move from one partner to other like it doesn’t matter. But sometimes the one that hurt you comes back and asks for a chance. That can be one of the most difficult decisions of your life. Here are some things which can help you make that decision.
Reasons you broke up:
We are humans and that means we aren’t perfect. Sometimes we tend to push someone away for reasons that seem too big to us but honestly aren’t. Did you break up over a petty fight or maybe because you had a misunderstood each other. Then you should definitely give it another go because love is not that easy to get in this world. But then if your partner was abusive or always undermining your talent or any of the things that may hurt your self-respect, you need to stop it no matter how much anyone may want you back.
Reasons they want you back:
I may hurt your ego a little so I apologize in advance but you are not the only person on the earth and the universe doesn’t revolve around you. No, I don’t mean you don’t have anything special about you. But everyone has their own special traits. So, why is this person so desperate to get you back? Maybe they couldn’t get someone for some time or they just want to get in your pants. The problem is never with someone coming back to you but you should be always careful of their intentions behind it. So, check them before letting them in.
Can you trust them?
Well, most relationships end up in the ditch because one of the partners did something to break the others trust. If you are someone like me there are hardly any chances for trusting that person again with your heart. But then not everyone has trust issues like me. So the question to ask yourself is, ‘after what he/she did last time will I be able to trust him/her?’ You should also keep in mind that you are only obligated to yourself here. If you feel that this isn’t in your best interest and you can’t trust them, walk away.
Have you already moved on?
You must have heard the phrase, “time is the greatest healer.” You aren’t a bad person to move on with your life after getting heartbroken. It was them who decided that this isn’t what they want and it’s not worth their time and effort. Now they want it all back but it’s who you get to decide whether you want to go back to that life or not. Some people might have gotten comfortable in their life by now and wouldn’t want to disturb it and that’s alright. So make a choice by asking yourself ‘do you still want them in your life?’
How did they ask you for a chance?
It’s the oldest of sayings, “Action speaks louder than words.” You shouldn’t be even thinking about getting back with someone who asks for a chance over a random text message. I know it’s the world of technology but there is also something called as human decency. You don’t need to make grand gestures (although they work well) for asking someone for another chance. If your partner asks you to talk over coffee, lunch or dinner and then makes their intention clear; it is far better than drunk call and texts.
Don’t fall for the sweet talks:
It’s okay that you fell in love with all the sweet talk before but now you know better. So, when your partner comes knocking on your door for another chance and showers you with praises you need to stop and think. Don’t let your ego do the thinking because that definitely likes all the praises. A little idea about body language will help you judge whether they are genuinely sorry or just feeling lonely. Take your time and judge them on their actions rather than their words.
Can they fit back in your life?
Your life is not just defined by your partner but also with friends and family. Maybe after the breakup, you went alone badmouthing him/her to your friends and family. Now bringing them back in your life can cause a backlash from them. There are also chances you might have found someone in the meantime and don’t want to ruin you and your new relationship. so the question that needs to be asked here this weather they can still be adjusted in your present life or not?
Obviously this can’t be used as bible but it may help you to make a better decision in such a serious situation.