This ex of yours is flaky and you don’t really know why? You planned on this date but she stood up on you last minute? What can you do to convince her to reschedule the date again? Or should you not? Here are the real reasons why your ex-girlfriend canceled the date with you and also the tips and tricks you should know to handle the situation better.
10 Valid Reasons why your ex canceled the date with you
She is busy: She is an independent woman who has to fend for herself. She is genuinely occupied with a last minute project that her boss dumped on her. She cannot make an excuse because she is equally dedicated to her work.
She is just too lazy: Yes, she committed to you but her mood has shifted now. For the time being, she only wants to get into her pyjamas, sleep, eat, watch something and be all on her own. Sounds lame to you? Yes, women are capable of making these last minute calls.
Her friends came over: Her girl gang is close-knit. They are always there for each other and she wouldn’t make any move without a heads up from their side. They come before you and hence, she took a call to be around them rather than meeting you.
She is interested in someone else: She isn’t really into you anymore. She did speak to you and flirt as well. But that was just to distract herself. Perhaps the guy she likes wasn’t in town or they had a tiff and she chose to kill her time with someone temporary. But now either she is guilty of giving you high hopes or she feels she is not answerable to you for cancelling on the date.
You said something rude: You chose to get on a difficult conversation with her over the call and said something that hurt her. Though you did not mean any of it, it still affected her to the extent that she does not want to go on a date with you.
You didn’t plan the date well: You didn’t call her to confirm on her availability. You didn’t receive her call or respond to her text messages. You got occupied and she felt ignored. There was absolutely no communication from your end and it irked her. She doesn’t entertain last minute hassles on dates and it just ended up being a terrible arrangement.
She has anxiety: This is serious. She is emotionally affected and being in public is uncomfortable to her. Going out is a real struggle. While she has the highs in her mood, she also goes through these lows for reasons she cannot explain. Basically, she needs help which she has been avoiding. It is not your fault. She does not trust you enough to open up about her problems.
She is commitment phobic: After the last relationship (with you or someone else) she has finally decided to put herself first. She doesn’t wish to put herself through the old situation again. She wants to take life a little easy and perhaps have more fun without being obliged to anyone. Now that you have been involved in the past, she knows that it will affect you and hence, she doesn’t have plans to give you (or someone else) hopes of anything anymore.
She feels she isn’t prepared: She is having a bad hair day or her skin has a couple of last minute breakouts, she feels extra fat or bloated or her makeup isn’t on point. Crazy, I know! Something went wrong with her wardrobe and she doesn’t feel she has enough to wear on the date. The list is long! 😉 Yeah, girls flip about the littlest imperfections. Simply put, she feels ugly tonight!
She is just playing hard to get: Yeah, she doesn’t want you to think you are all that is left in the whole wide world for her. She is acting pricey. She just loves being chased because she is already used to that kind of attention from most men. She has done this before and it has worked in her favour. She is gauging the intensity of your interest in her. You have taken her for granted before and now, she expects to have the upper hand in deciding what course this shall take again.
Is she really interested?
Brutal truth bomb: If she is already head over heels into you, she won’t have the heart to cancel the date. She is far more interested in meeting you than you are probably. You can feel the interest in her words and actions. The time she takes to respond to a call or message from your end, the happiness in her voice and her enthusiasm to plan things with you. While she may be genuinely occupied and cannot make it to the date, she will go an extra mile to see you even for a shorter time if she really wants to value the commitment she made to meet you. This is valid if she really likes you.
A lie is detectable. The excuses will be lame and there will never be an effort from her end to reschedule the date. If you have the slightest gut feeling that she is bluffing, then trust your instincts. She isn’t really interested in you.
What to do if she canceled the date?
Avoid clinginess: Leave her alone. Give her time to get back to you. If you keep poking and pestering her to give you any sort of explanation, you will only trigger her annoyance further.
Drop her a polite text: Let her know you are open to the idea of another day. This way you show your interest and also remain courteous without intruding into her space.
This is how your text can be: “I understand something must have come up urgently. I hope you were able to get through it. Let me know if you would like to meet some other day. I will wait for your response. Have a good evening! Cheers!”
Move on: Exit gracefully always. Forget about her and think about your next date with someone else (if there is someone in the pipeline already!). There is no point ranting and going back again and again and making yourself look all too available. There are other fishes in the pond. And perhaps far better than the one you think is gold.